The reviews are (unfortunately) in . . .

A dust-up in the publishing world this week makes me think about the relationship between writer and reader.  I've long held the opinion that when you write a book, you'd better make sure it is the best it can be before it hits the market, because once it's out in the world you can't control what others think of it.  Unlike a real baby, people are not only capable but seem to delight sometimes in telling you your baby is ugly (and dressed funny if they don't like the cover either).  Dealing with other people's opinions is what the thick skin is for.  Suck it up and go on.

But whether the notes are positive, negative or somewhere in between, every person who reads your book brings to it their own likes, dislikes, prejudices, expectations and ideas. As Mignon McLaughlin said, "A critic can only review the book he has read, not the one which the writer wrote."  In many ways, both writer and reader are co-creators of the reading experience.  

How do you cope with negative reviews?  

Take a deep breath.  Remind yourself that in the scheme of your life one bad review or even many bad reviews are not the be all and end all of existence.  

Don't take it personally.  No matter how much of yourself you have invested in your work, reviews are not a personal attack.  

Smile.  Like the old song, smile--though your heart is breaking.  Write a thank you note (or text or email) to the reviewer thanking them for their time (if you cannot bring yourself to be grateful for the review).  Who knows, maybe the same reviewer will love your next one and may not be able to be objective about an author who trashed them.

Be objective.  Is there any truth to what the reviewer is saying about the weaknesses of your work?  This may be an opportunity in disguise to improve your writing.  Let's face it, we all have room for improvement.  If a review points to a way you might do things better in the future, consider it a blessing.

Commiserate with your buddies.  Here a good writing support circle is a major bonus.  No one who has published has never had a bad review.   

Above all, don't allow negativity from this event cling to you and affect your work now.  Do a chakra visualization exercise where you see negative energy falling from each of your chakras like rain.  Send it down to Mother Earth for cleansing.  Meditate for a while, picturing glowing reviews.  Smudge yourself or light some incense (preferably sandalwood, frankinsence, cedar, lavender--those known to clear away negative energy). Let your bad feelings about this review float away with the smoke.  Release it and get back to your writing. 

And remember, reviews, even bad ones, help get the word out there about your book.  Not much comfort, I know, but it's all I've got.